Thursday, August 21, 2008

New Semester, quick (pretty long) update

Sorry I haven't been able to update in a while. I actually didn't really want to considering my life has been in a strange spiral due to the BF bringing up some stuff that I didn't really want to hear. More about that later, I suppose.

School started this week! I'm taking it easy with only 14hrs, and crammed it into Tues/Thurs. Meaning, no class M/W/F! I made it so I'd be done before 7pm, even with the late labs, so that I'd be done on or before my bf gets off work, so I could have a flexible schedule all week to work around his. I sound completely wrapped up with him, but I just tend to put a lot of effort into working things out... anyway

I'm sick! I hate being sick. I don't know why I'm sick. I started coughing 2 nights ago, and I figured I'd catch it early (I always ignore it and end up getting super sick) so I told my mom then proceeded to pick up some OTC cough medicine. Took it, seemed to somewhat help, well... it had a cooling feeling that sort of soothed my sore throat. But what the hell! Today (yesterday I guess technically) I stayed in bed all damn day, feeling pretty crappy. I even took an hour long bath and sat around my room naked (it felt gooood) but it didn't really help. I think this is the first time I've gotten sick since the flu I had back in January or something... I think I tend to get sick right when school starts :( sucks major balls!

I'm sitting here, contemplating on whether I want to drive home or not. I mean.. it is 2am and I have my class at 8, back to back till 145. Luckily, no lab. But if I do go home, I do need to go to a clinic and get things checked out for my sake, and for the sake of getting an excuse for school! Haha, I feel like a little middle schooler needing an excuse.

Anyway, the bf and I have been on the edge since last week. He randomly brought up one day that he needed to talk to me (as soon as he said we need to talk about some stuff... it freaked me out). I couldn't wait until he got off work, so he ended up telling me online, briefly what it was about, then called me later when it freaked me out. He basically said that he didn't think he had enough time for me, and that he thought I deserved someone who'd give me the time and attention that I deserve. What a load of BS! Or so I thought. I was just freaking out that this guy was about to dump me and I was just there, like a sitting duck. He tells me that he needs some space to think about it, but it was up to me on what I wanted to do. He suggested that we could take a break to see how that works out, and get back together when things are less hectic for him. He also suggested just calling it off... and the last option, staying together and sticking it out. The past few weeks before that had been a little rocky, so he was already feeling a bit distant, so he felt as if we needed to take a break or call it off, cuz he personally didn't feel that we could pan it out much longer at this rate. There are circumstances that were surrounding things, but at this time, I was just loopy and thought of "giving him space" and tried to occupy my time. Which is the reason why I sat around and thought about flying out to cali, chicago, florida, or jersey the next day. I took a bit more time and thought about it, and thought I sounded a bit crazy for dropping everything and flying out halfway across the country to get away from issue with the bf. What kinda lunatic does that? Anyway, so the next day, instead of moping around, I opted to drive to Atlanta to hang out with some friends.

An awesome idea! We had one of my favorite chicken/pizza place...

had some bulgogi pizza and spicy chicken thing.

Then we went shopping... followed by a dessert at my favoriteeeeeeeeeee dessert place. Suno!

We chowed down that volcano suno like it was nothing. Well, at least I did. I have some pictures, but I don't feel like bending down to grab my camera, so it'll have to wait.

So all the bf mess started on Wednesday... and I went to Atlanta Thursday. Don't remember what I did that Friday, but I did see my bf on Saturday, albeit it was only for about 2 hrs. We put off talking about stuff until the next day cuz he had somewhere to go and I felt like I was hanging. I went home Sunday morning to get my tutoring done, then drove back that night and saw him again, and we briefly talked about it. The whole time I was freaking out, for some reason, I kept thinking he was trying to dump me. When we talked about it, he said the decision was always up to me, and because he brought it up, I was gonna be freaked out for months. Haha, maybe, but who knows. He said that he just needed some time to think things through and clear his mind. I didn't necessarily give him his space cuz I talked to him all week, even though I tried not to. lol. So... the reason why he brought this up, was because at work, they're thinking about starting a service department, and making him the manager for it. So they're drawing up stuff, and he's having to do a lot more work cuz of it. On top of that, his roommate is moving back home, and just put in his 2 weeks notice. So not only does Chris (the bf) and his department have to carry the extra load until they find someone else, but he also needs to go apartment shopping before the lease is up, which is I believe either this month or next month. That brings me to his car! His car has been at the dealership since last Monday. He doesn't think it will be done until next Wednesday! That's 2 1/2 weeks without his car! So he's having to do his apartment shopping, somehow, without his car.

While having to reorganize his life and think things through, he should be able to rely on his trusty gf. But nopeeee. Past few weeks, I've been pretty paranoid about stupid shit and nagging at him, so he felt like he needed a break from everything. Or at least me. Since it's the only thing he can control. Sigh, I've been giving him his space, and letting him be, hoping he'll come back to me when the time is right. He's been doing little things here and there and has been pissing me off, but I haven't brought it up since his life is probably a little more stressful than mine, and could probably hold off on any more problems. He did come to see me today, super hungry... lol. So I got him some dinner... watched him eat while I was feeling sick as a dog, and we just hung out for about an hour before he realized that he needed to leave because I had to sleep, since I now had to get up earlier than he, because of classes. Which brings me back to........

I CAN'T SLEEP CUZ I CAN'T STOP COUGHING. That and I feel nauseated every time I lied back down, and I'd end up running to the bathroom throwing up. I don't get it. Whatever, maybe I'll shed some pounds. I should probably cut this longass entry now and try to sleep.

As for you guys, take care of yourselves! It might be this changing weather, but I've been seeing a lot of people get sick!


heidi said...

='( i hope your bf recognizes how awesome you are sooooon, before he lets you freak out for months!!

your schedule is so awesome XD!!! your tu/thurs will be crazy, but omg you have a 4 day weekend EVERY WEEK. i'm so jealous!! the best i could do was get fridays off, hehe, but then all the business majors at my school got fridays off and teachers would expect us to use that time for annoying group meetings!

hope u get better soon!

Terrishka said...

Damn, and I thought my new semester's schedule was pretty sweet. Then again I am taking a full course load, and absolutely NEED to do summer school in order to fit all my shit in.

Anyways, I'm sure you and your bf will work through this rough patch. You really care about him, and I am sure he knows that underneath all the "lover's quarrels", as they say lol.

donna said...

I should do an update soon, cuz we had a good talk last night and he wants me to come down with him to Pensacola this weekend! That means I gotta meet his parents ~_~