Monday, September 1, 2008


So Saturday wasn't a great day. After the post, it kind of went downhill. The bf and I were supposed to hang out, but due to some dude from flying out from cali to write an article about the new APR facility and him having to show him around and "entertain" him, it pretty much ate up the whole day. I tried to get in touch with him all day, except he didn't respond until around 430 when he calls to tell me what was going on (I had no idea that the guy was down here) then says he'd call me right back. When he says "I'll call you right back," I've learned not to expect a call for at least a few hours, or at all. It's sad, really.

Then my friend Lewis calls me, asking what was up and wanted to catch up. Lewis is my best friend that I've known since either 9th grade or 10th. I can't really remember, but we had a slight fling when we first met, but it didn't work out, and now him, his brother, my brother and I are all like family. Anyway, he goes to school about 2hrs away from me, and I figured, what the hell, I'm gonna drive up and get away from all this Chris deal. I wasn't going to wait around for him to call me and tell me he can't hang out with me. Fuck that.

I actually took a nap till around 7:30 when Chris finally texts me and says "my bad, i have been busy entertaining this guy from" I can't quite remember what I said to get that response, but it doesn't matter anyway. I didn't care and I was already getting ready to leave the house. So finally around 8:15, I get out of the house to head over to UAB. 15 minutes into the drive, Chris texts me asking what I was doing. When I told him where I was going, he goes... "WTF why?" He then asks me when I was coming back and says he promises that he would take me out this weekend. Normally, I would have asked if he wanted to see me that night, and even turn around, feel better because he sounded like he was trying to make it up, but honestly, I put up with too much of this nonsense to really care. He apologized several times saying he didn't know I was waiting all day for him then gave me a bunch of excuses I didn't care for. Then he stabs at me and says I obviously can't handle him being busy. Excuse me??? If he can't take 10 seconds out of his life to call or text me and say "Hey, sorry, but something came up for work and I can't hang out today. Raincheck?" then yea, I can't handle him being "busy." Clearly, if he's too busy to spare 10 seconds, he doesn't need a gf. I've been really understanding about work taking up a lot of his time, but what I can't understand is why he can't tell me what's going on at the time and stop reserving my time and wasting it. Just because my schedule is more flexible, and I put effort into it being flexible, doesn't mean that it is worth any less than his time is.

He then begins to whine and says he wishes I was back. Wtf? I was an hour and a half into the drive and he wants me back? He was out at dinner and found some time to text me, and said he wants to be with me that night. Again, normally, I'd be all like awww!!! I'm coming home right now! but I didn't. I told him that I MAY have turned around if he asked me when I was only 15 min into the drive but I wasn't turning around then. Oh yeah, so I had fun with Lewis and everything, but on the way back, I got a fucking TICKET!! I was going 70 in a 65, and pretty damn sleepy (I left around 330am) and somehow the speed dropped to 45 before I knew it, and I was pulled over. WTF. I'm broke and this fatty wants to write me a ticket. UGHHH.

So... all Sunday... from around 230 till 930, I hung out with him. We didn't really do much, except watch movies and cuddle and go out for dinner, until he had to go out with Wes, the dude from cali, and Keith, his boss. So I left... when my friend says I should come over cuz she made sweet potato cake! OHH YES!! So I head over, eat cake (after the huge steak & ribs dinner I had) and they decide they want to invite some people over a drink. Uh oh. I honestly don't like beer, and we began to play drinking games, and it's like they were plotting against me! There were a lot of people I didn't know, and they thought I seem like a fun drunk and tried to get me drinking as much as possible.

Mind you, I hate beer. So every time I had to drink, I chugged it down so I wouldn't have to taste it. In midst of all this, I got hungry! So my friend made me pizza.. and I had 2 slices. Then, I'm not sure why, but I got hungry for some McDonalds, so some of the guys went and brought it back. Yup, I had those too. After drinking a shit ton and eating, it sobered me up... until one of the guys nagged on me saying I couldn't chug down my coke. Excuse me? Coke and I are like best friends! We have a bond that no one else does! So I proceeded to chug down the 20oz coke. Yup... finished that too.

Do you smell trouble? I do! When people began to leave, my stomach wasn't feeling so great (I had some shots in midst of all the drinking too) so I went in the bathroom and puked up EVERYTHING. From steak dinner to the mcdonalds I ate! Sooo gross. But I felt so much better afterwards, hahaha. Then we walked around... tried to sober up a bit (I was pretty sober, but super hyper from all that coke) and decided to walk through a cemetary to get a good scare. I was either still drunk or too hyper... or didn't give a shit, and I was running through that place like it was mine. My friend was telling me that he felt like we were disrespecting them... and I somehow compared the public cemetary to a public bathroom. Anyway, we went back, watched Shutter (not scary at all), and I drove home... and passed out, around 5.

BUT, before I passed out, I logged onto facebook for the first time in a while! I deactivated in June, if I remember correctly, because Chris asked me to. And lo and behold, I find pictures! Courtney, that hoe, uploaded pictures of herself, Arin, her roommate, and Chris. Not all weekend did Chris mention Courtney. Not to mention, he didn't tell me she was there when he was out driving all day with Wes and Keith. Not to mention, he failed to let me know that he "ran" into them, so he says, when he was out at a bar with Wes and Keith.

Does it sound fishy to you? He's driving them around in some of the pictures, and the girls' make up seems way too fresh for him to be driving them back because he didn't want them taking a cab since they drank a lot. Once my "WTF? BS?" radar goes off, I find so many things to back it up, it's not even funny. I texted him at like 5am saying I was disappointed in him. He was out acting retarded, with his pants rolled up with a cig butt in his mouth and posing with Arin. He failed to tell me any of the above. And yesterday, he tells me he wanted to go shopping with me today, and all today, he's with Arin. I tell him around 430 that he can just hang out with Arin for the rest of the night if he wants. But nooo, he says "no... it's okay." When does he finally call and ask me if I want to see him? 10. He might as well have told me that he was gonna be with them all night, and THEN ask me afterwards if I wanted to see him. WTF is wrong with him? Around 10:20, I leave the house, and he calls me saying his boss texted him, telling him to be at work by 8 tomorrow and that he had to sleep early tonight. I tell him that I'll just turn around and head back home then, and he says I don't have to and it doesn't mean I can't see him, just that I'd have to leave early. I didn't want to bother arguing, so I went over. He was cuddling with me, watching some movie called Pirates of the Silicon Valley, and I don't think I felt anything. I didn't feel like I was spending quality time with him, and I didn't feel like I was there because I wanted to be. At first, I didn't want to see him tonight at all, but I wanted to see him to talk to him in person about all this shit. But did I? No. I don't even know if I want to bother bringing it up. Make the effort to talk things through...

He did ask me several times what was wrong and why I seemed depressed. I denied it and said nothing was wrong, and put minimal effort into holding his hand so he wouldn't feel too ignored.

Whatever, if he's going to push me away and take me for granted, I'm not gonna bother coming back.


Oh, and I'm officially on a diet.

And my hair color seems to be lightening up a bit... so I kinda like it. I've been experimenting with no foundation and trying to get the most natural and flawless way of making my face look with LESS make up!

I think for the face, I had concealer for my dark circles and finishing loose powder from Clinique. Super sheer... I don't even think it's buildable lol. Then I set it with MAC Fix+. I absolutely love that stuff.


Jessica Dee said...

O girl! I feel you on the man problems. The longer you stay together the more you don't wait hand and foot for each other as much as you used to when you're first together! Or you just stop expecting stuff and you end up doing your own thing. BOYS are so confusing. I hope things work out with you and your BF, you two make an adorable couple ;] & I LOVE your shirt! & you have excellent skin!

Jennifer L said...

i'm glad to hear ur doing ur own stuff instead of waiting for the bf... i bet he doesn't like waiting for u

and i can't believe ur on a diet, girl u crazy skinny LOL